What if the paint chips from the wall? I've definitely been more certain before. I'm scared, nervous, worried. I've spent so long trying to find myself and to define myself without someone else's standards. I had a hard time finding who I was without anyone else. Me. On my own. Just me. What if there's always cups in the sink? But whether I'm positive about anything or not, I do know that I'm starting over. Completely. I'm reaching a new chapter in my life and it's huge and amazing and mysterious and exciting and challenging. I've already changed so much. I know I'm getting closer to the person I'm meant to be. I know I'm getting closer to the place I'm supposed to be. What if your eyes close before mine? Loneliness is just a part of the challenge. There's a hollowness that reminds me I'm waiting, and that every day is bringing me closer and making me stronger. And there's another part to it that says I'm ready to start again, to open up for the first time. Because for the first time ever I'm venturing out alone. No, not alone. I'll never be alone, but for the first time I won't have anyone right beside me, telling me what to do, helping me fit into who I'm supposed to be. Now it's up to me to make those decisions, and I surprised even myself by choosing different options. I'm not who I thought I was, not even who I thought I wanted to be. Because I wanted to be everyone else. What if you lose yourself sometimes? Everyone's radiance and confidence and character -I wanted to be all of that. I always felt overshadowed by people who were always more of everything than I was. Now all I have is myself, and I'm learning to be the best of what I have. I'm learning to let that be enough. I am all I need. And I am giving up on half-empty glasses. Knowing I'm on my own is empowering as much as it is frightening. That means everything everyone had accepted me as being, I can change if I want. I can make myself over completely, and no one new will ever have to know how dark or unsure or jealous I was. They will see my newfound confidence, my ability, my newly unearthed and as yet undeveloped passions. I'm leaving behind all my bad memories and the people and places who are currently ensuring that I never forget the hurt or anger or sadness. I'm going somewhere new, free from any memory at all. I'll build new ones. Better ones. I'm still learning. Always learning. Taking at least one step every day. I'll get there. | 
